It is funny that it is so easy to get lost in fantasy or tv shows or even sleep the day away when things in life get so bad. I look back and the last couple years of my life have been full of ups and downs and now is no different which I can tell cause even my blogging level has changed when things got worse in life I blogged less cause I couldn't think straight enough to think about writing. I need to immerse myself back into writing again from my blog to my poetry and book writing but not sure where to start. My head is so clouded with things these days so much has happened and sadly due to my ex husband I really can't just get it off my chest on my blog. Have you ever just wanted to tell someone everything your thinkin just so your not the only one havin to deal with it anymore. Well somedays its how i feel yet instead i have seemed to shutdown and shut out any outside source. I used to make friends so easily and now due to my ex husband I find it so impossible to trust people to do so. My step dad got to celebrate his birthday the other day and is still out of the hospital but the doctors still don't know how long he has to live and now it seems even trusting that a internet friend actually died is even insane since it looks like he is back alive talkin to people on facebook. Why in the world would someone lie about somethin like that I really don't know what to think these days. Then the friends I did talk to alot are busy with work and don't get to talk to them much anymore. My mom is always busy doin one thing or another so I spend alot of time alone and bein that way so much my optimism of the world is lowering fast the whole crash and burn stuff. Then my health is a big thing been goin back and fourth to the doctor got put on a thyroid medicine now hopin that will help me since I can't seem to lose weight just keep gaining it I want somethin to help there cause im tired of bein so over weight. Anyways I guess I will stop here cause i know every one doesnt come to my blog to hear me ramble about my thoughts and issues so i will try to get to work on putting some more reviews up soon.