Thanks to Tomoson and Lisa Kroulik for providing me with the product below to review with no purchase.
I received the book Emotional Assault: Recognizing an Abusive Partner's Bag of Tricks to review by Lisa Kroulik. I really wanted to read this book cause after bein in a mentally abusive marriage for 11 years I thought it would help me recognize things a little more of what I was in and maybe help me learn to recuperate and recover for all the mental abuse I went through. Reading her book I swear if I didn't know any better I would have thought she was watching my relationship for the last 11 years and wrote the book based on it. She went through so much of what I went through and I can truly relate to her book.
She breaks down each way the abuser uses their tactics to control you, to hurt you, and to make you lose self wealth in yourself. due to 11 years with my husband I felt I was no good to anyone, I didn't care how I looked, or even thought I was worth bein loved anymore. In self thought I was ugly, fat, and somethin was seriously wrong with me. I'm still fightin to this day after bein separated for over a year and a half and all the years he brainwashed me I'm tryin to get myself back together and learn to live again.
My ex did alot of hateful things to me yet claimed to love me and this woman understood what I have dealt with, she has been where I have been and it was nice to know I wasn't alone, that it wasn't all my fault as for the last 11 years I was made to believe. I have found myself free now days but just like her I still have to deal with my ex tryin to be controlling as always luckily enough I don't have children as she does I just have a divorce I need to afford to pay.
She explains int he book even with examples of what she ahs dealt with as well as its all easy to read and understand. She brings up alot of good pointers to seek out or know what to see in your relationship before it ends up bein too late or shows you whats wrong already. I love that she gives alot of confidence to the victims when you read the book. I guess I was lucky to see my husband was mentally abusive on my own after he left I really saw it clearly just took me meeting a very great person that came into my life to help me see it. She even says in the book sometimes its easier for people to see from a outside perspective better.
I also like she explained in the book pulled away from friends and family due to my ex husband. She really gave me a new way at seeing things in this book and the funny thing is although I knew some of his tactics were abusive she made me realize not much that ever came out of his mouth was cause he loved me but that he was a narcissist control freak. She even goes into talkin about the stress of a relationship like this and what it can do to you physically.
I myself never went through the physical part that she went through but my health was failing fast before even hitting my 30's not to mention I was having more migraines and tension headaches, I was fighting insomnia all the time as well as my asthma was flaring up much more than it had since I was a child. I also had times where I would feel tired all the time I do know stress effects you badly if you let it and I was at the peak of mys tress level when I was with him. I can honestly say without bein with him anymore my stress level has improved so much its not even funny. I even had a few mental break downs in our marriage that he scratched off as bein too emotionally broken.
I too was like Lisa because he didn't hit me I always found ways to justify why I stayed until mentally I broke and I just couldn't take it anymore. I do love how she approaches that when you try to move on after a mentally abusive relationship that its really hard to not think that the person is gonna hurt you as well. I know my next relationship I had after my ex husband when I would do somethin wrong the first thing I thought was I was gonna get yelled at or told how worthless I was and it was hard to get past that bein my first thought when I dealt with it for 11 years.
I can honestly relate to Lisa in the book cause I too found the healing process to be hard and still recovering but God took a major place in my life when I went through the worst part of leaving cause my ex made it worse than most the years with him with threats and harassing phone calls and he bout sent me over the edge again. I'm a year and a half past that in my life now yet still have alot of triggers which she talks about as well as I have bad days still and I'm still fighting to trust people and that they are not all in cahoots with him tryin to ruin my life that's probably the hardest thing to get past.
I love how she goes in to play about what to expect from people if you choose to leave. I was lucky most for my close family and friends were supportive but I had to fight within myself at bein a christian to leave cause I didn't want to believe in divorce that is why it took me almost 2 years to finally leave after I had made the decision nothin was gonna get better. I like the sayin she quoted in the book "One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder". My last quote to my ex was "You can only push someone away for so long, until they walk out of your life on their own. So be careful and make sure this is what you want, because once they turn around they are not coming back."
She does go into tellin you the feelings you may go through and even still to this day I fight them from time to time it does get easier as she explains and I will tell you to its just about takin one day at a time and learning to heal. When someone is in your life for so long that makes you feel these ways it takes more than days to get over. I'm still looking forward to ending mine in a divorce I will be happy to be free for good. I am so thankful I got to read Emotional Assault: Recognizing an Abusive Partner's Bag of Tricks by Lisa Kroulik, she helped me understand things I never knew happened in my marriage as well as didn't make me feel so alone anymore. I want to thank her for sharing this book with me and sharing with the world. I want to thank her for bein a role model to look up to in moving forward. I also want to tell anyone who is goin through these things in life you should read this book it will change the way you think.
1 amazing comments:
Thank you for your thoughtful and very thorough review. You would be amazed at the number of women who told me they thought I must live in their house to describe their situations so well.
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